An Interview with the Empty Chair of the British Labour Party

(Note: the incumbent chairman of the British Labour Party is Jeremy Corbyn, who has been accused by people of his own political party of being anti-Semitic, although he claims only to be anti-Zionist, for his comments likening Israel to ISIS. For context, please click on “Chief Rabbi condemns ‘offensive’ Corbyn anti-Semitism comments“. In another note, psychologists often encourage their patients to act out their feelings about certain people who have had a significantly negative impact on their lives by speaking to an empty chair opposite them as though that person were sitting in the chair. Therefore, you may glean from this that the interview is fictitious and has never, in fact, occurred.)

Mike: First of all, I would like to thank you, sir, for granting me an interview with you on such short notice.

Jeremy: (no response)

Mike: Your comment that “our Jewish friends are no more responsible for the actions of Israel or the Netanyahu government than our Muslim friends are for those various self-styled Islamic states or organisations” caused many people in your party and outside of it to believe that you equated Israel with ISIS, since the only self-styled Islamic state that is not in fact a state is ISIS. (Well, maybe also the West Bank, ruled by the Palestinian Authority, and Gaza, which is ruled by Hamas.) The former Chief Rabbi, Lord Jonathan Sacks, called your comparison a “demonisation of the highest order.”

Jeremy: (no response)

Mike: Would you like to hear what Member of the Israeli Knesset, Ms. Tzipi Livni, had to say about your comment? She said, “not all Brits are to blame for Corbyn.”

Jeremy: (no response)

Mike: If you don’t mind too much, sir, I would like to explore your difficulty in differentiating between Israel and ISIS.

Jeremy: (no response)

Mike: Would you be willing to grant an interview, as we are enjoying now, alone together without body guards, with a representative of ISIS? Would you be willing to travel to the headquarters of ISIS, I believe it is currently in Mosul Iraq, to sit down for a tête-à-tête with one of their esteemed representatives? How about coming to Israel, even though we don’t like you very much, not even our own Labour Party, for a tête-à-tête with one of our people?

Jeremy: (no response)

Mike: Yes, I said “we” and “our” because, in addition to my being an American, I am also a Jew and an Israeli. I can tell you honestly that nobody in the world wants peace more than Israel, nobody. A thought just occurred to me: have you ever wondered why those who support our sworn enemies press on us to offer land for peace, instead of peace for peace? Don’t our enemies want peace? Don’t the supporters of our enemies want peace for our enemies?

Jeremy: (no response)

Mike: It’s because the promise of peace is just a bunch of words, cheaply given and easily forgotten or misinterpreted, but land is survival. Land is defensible. Land is where you can live. We’ve tried many times to live in words, but we can’t. You, sir, should try living only in words. You’ll see that it is impossible. Please consider that when you try whittle down our small land to the point that it would be quite indefensible. I’ll admit that not everyone in Israel is willing to take another chance at peace. Have you heard what our enemies say they’d do to us, if they could? Oh, that’s right, you don’t speak their language.

Jeremy: (no response)

Mike: Thank you once again for this interview. It has cleared the air. If you don’t mind, I’ll just move your chair back to our dining room table where it belongs. We’re expecting guests soon.

Mike Stone

Raanana Israel

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2 Comments

Filed under Dilemmas, Essays, Uncategorized

2 responses to “An Interview with the Empty Chair of the British Labour Party

  1. Great interview, Dad.

    I must say, and I’m trying to be as objective as I can be, you are probably one of the best interviewers ever, because I have never heard Mr. Corbyn sound so intelligent. You have truly brought out the best of him.

    Your son and fan,
    Assaf

    • Thanks Assaf. I had to wing it during the interview. I wasn’t sure what questions to ask or how it would turn out until I got to the end of it and witnessed for myself the mutual product of our exploration. No need for you to be objective with me, though I appreciate your efforts and honest opinion. 🙂

      Love you son,

      Daddy-o

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